Robert Smyth: Three Great Dipping Sauces

So I did that build-a-burger thing the other day.

It was pretty uneventful - I put lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, ketchup, mustard, and mayo on my burger.

I finished up by putting some chips on my plate, then started walking back past the bar, when I noticed some sauces sitting out in bowls.

The one looked like BBQ sauce, so I asked the guy, "hey, is that BBQ sauce?"

He confirmed, and then immediately offered to spoon some of that BBQ sauce onto my burger.

I kind of freaked out about this, and ended up dropping the top half of my bun, including ketchup, mustard, and pickles, onto the floor amidst the commotion.

The guy couldn't have been any more polite (which is kind of awkward). He started apologizing, even though I was the one who spilled. I told him, "I'll put it on myself," and grapped the spoon from him.

Then I threw some BBQ sauce on the burger, went back and got another bun (plus ketchup, mustard, and pickles), and walked out of there, leaving this annoyingly polite gentleman with a mess to clean up.

The moral of the story, as always, is to keep your hands off my burger.

But also: Who does this guy think he is? He is going to perfectly apply this BBQ sauce to the burger I have lovingly created? I don't think so, guy. Seems a little smug to me.

To be honest, I didn't even know if I wanted any BBQ sauce, I was just asking if that is what it was. Instead of a simple "yes, it's BBQ sauce," he goes all rogue and tries to scoop it on my burger. Chill out, buddy. Nothing worse than someone trying to be overly helpful.

Other than that, my only complaint would have been having bowls of sauce with spoons. Who wants to use a spoon to apply BBQ sauce to a burger that is already topped with lettuce, tomato, and onions? Nobody. You are forced to use the sour cream "dollop" method, which just puts a big glob of the sauce in one section. Any attempt to massage it around with the spoon and you are liable to get lettuce stuck to the spoon, or maybe even some other kind of sauce (which, for the record, I have no problem with).

Build-a-Burger Bar (Update)

I don't wanna talk about it.

Ooh...what's gonna happen next?

I get an e-mail once or twice a week telling me I will be getting lunch provided for free.

When I open the e-mail I am usually greeted with the logo of a restaurant and a description of what we will be getting.

Primo's, Qdoba, Zoup, and a bunch of other places have all been a part of Rob's free lunch lately (I can't say enough about the quality, variety, and general free-ness of this deal).

Today I opened the e-mail and it said:

Build your own burger bar.

Challenge, accepted.

My burger construction is set for this Monday, so I will get back to you with the results of my creation shortly thereafter.

Hopefully I'm im good shape from the weekend and have all my faculties about me in order to make/enjoy something special.

Yours in burger-tude,

Bobo Bobby BigWheels