The Condiment Station

Ketchup, yellow mustard, spicy mustard.

This is as bare bones as a condiment station should ever get.

Ideally, I would like some fix'ens involved. Pickles, onions, relish, sauerkraut. All good choices.

If you want to include mayo packets and/or BBQ sauce, that is fine by me.

But let's get one thing straight - if you are in charge of the condiment station, you need to man up and get both the yellow and spicy varieties of our favorite mustard-based sauce (mustard).

I bought a hot dog at a high school football game recently, and walked over to the condiment station to dress that puppy up, when I noticed the tubs of ketchup and yellow mustard were my only options.

Seriously, who would not factor in the spicy mustard when making plans for the day?

Did they just overlook it? If that is the case, why are they in charge of condiment stations in the first place? Get someone with a little passion!

Do they think everyone just uses yellow mustard, or that there is not much of a difference? If there is someone that distended from reality, I would certainly hope they are not employed by a high school, corrupting the minds of our youth.

Maybe it just wasn't in the budget. I would actually take this excuse the best.

If you can only choose one mustard, you have to go yellow over spicy. Sure, you and I know spicy is the superior mustard. But we can deal with it being excluded. It's that kind of hard-nosed, living-on-the-edge mentality that allows us to appreciate the bold and nuanced flavors of spicy mustard. But those yellow mustard eaters? Forget about it. They would absolutely freak out if yellow mustard were excluded. Because that shit is for pussies.